Yesterday, I did not climb a mountain or wrestle a bear. I did not wake up in a log cabin and eat porcupines for breakfast. There was no snow outside my window.

Nobody gave me flowers; nobody wished me a Happy Easter; nobody invited me to stay in a villa in Tuscany over summer. I did not drink a bottle of champagne.

I was not asked to audition for a Broadway musical; I did not put the finishing touches to my best-selling novel; I did not fly through the air on a trapeze. I found no diamonds under my pillow. My eyebrows did not turn blue. I did not faint.

I didn’t spend the day digging up petunias from the Botanical Gardens and replanting them along the motorway. No-one sculpted a life-sized statue of Elvis for my front lawn. The circus did not come to town.

I did not send Christmas cards to everyone in the phone book whose surname begins with ‘V’. I neither walked across the Nullabor nor swam with crocodiles.

I did not dine at the Ritz. I was not compelled to abseil from the top of the Eiffel Tower. I was not chased by a swarm of killer bees or a great white shark. I was not in a coach that was held up by a highwayman.

I did not head south for winter or eat butterflies.

But I did go up in a balloon.

© Janis Freegard